Job Opening

The Cousin Council™ [The CC], the leader in kin-amusement and an innovative family governing body, announces the creation of the following position.

Position: Administrative Assistant, The CC
Position Range: Weekly dinner rolls or sugar cookies (your choice)

Responsibilities:

1. Develop and execute the creation of small scraps of paper to be used by councilmen and councilwomen in games (e.g. Dictionary Game) or passing clandestine correspondence.
2. Delivery of food and desserts from dining area directly to councilmen Navy boy and JDollar.
3. Act as a liaison between The CC and other family guilds (requires a high level of BS).
4. Execute covert operations as directed by senior councilmen and councilwomen.
5. Act as a proxy for members of The CC unable to attend events.
6. Track family gossip and report all suspicious and/or colorful news.
7. Maintain database of potential leads for The LHC.
8. Lend vocal talents to family carols (e.g. “Backroads Man”).
9. Take copious notes and minutes during all team meetings and ad-hoc committees.
10. Numerous other responsibilities to be performed as directed.

Knowledge/Experience/Skills:

1. Familiarity with the inner workings of familial advisory bodies similar to The CC
2. Ability to translate Old Norse into T-talk
3. Strong Nintendo skills (preferably 8 bit NES)
4. Expertise in Melungeon history and issues
5. Command of the English language, specifically quotes used in movies since the 1970s
6. Memory like a steal trap

Flex Time Possible: No
Travel Required: Yes

Hours: 24 / 7

TO APPLY, please send a letter of interest to cousincouncil.human.resources@gmail.com