You know you've survived christian culture if....

-You've ever thrown out all your "secular" c.d.'s...only to replace them a year later
-Your vocabulary has ever been peppered with words like "burden" or "fellowship"
-For graduation you received a Thomas Kincaid painting
-You've actually tried a pack of testamints
-You wash your car with a t-shirt that says "GAP-God Answers Prayer"

I am reading a pretty funny book right now called" The Christian Culture survivial guide. The misadventures of an outsider on the inside." especially funny for those of us with the upbringing of the "independent, fundamental, your-going-to-hell-if-your-not-baptist, Baptist". So far I'd put it on as a Danielle pick. Here's a bit more for now...

TELL-TALE SIGNS YOUR ABOUT TO ENCOUNTER AN "OLD-FASHIONED" MEETING WITH THE ALTER.
-If the pastor closes his sermon with "I want every head bowed and every eye closed-I want no looking around. "This sign is biggie! My advice? Do exactley what the preacher tells you to do.
-If there is lots of rustling around by individuals who have "alter call" responsibilities (i.e., deacons, musicions, singers, and ushers will probably be scurrying around to get into position.) These people will be looking down at their feet as if you can't see them as they walk over your toes and into the aisle.
-If you here the word "stanza"
-If you here the pastor say "I see that hand" as they look around the room for potential converts.
-If the song during your alter call begins with the words "just" or "all." If this happens, you are definatley in the midst of an altar call. Just hum along if you don't know the words.